Life can be messy, and we’re often expected to pretend we have it all together. I wanted to create a place where it’s okay to share your struggle. Here, community isn’t about perfection and exclusivity — it’s about access. This is your invitation to pull up a seat at the table, to laugh, to reflect, to be seen, to level up and reset, one brunch at a time. Welcome to the Social Brunch Club.
This weekly newsletter is all about providing space and insights for us to have conversations that make you feel recognized, affirmed, and empowered. Got a topic you want to talk about? Email me and my team at thesocialbrunchclub@gmail.com.
Organizing Your Space When You Have ADHD (or Other Challenges)
When I started my organizing business, it wasn’t just because I thought using my organized Virgo tendencies to make money would be fun. (Though let’s be honest - it is!). It was because I genuinely wanted to help people who are feeling overwhelmed. I use that word all the time when I’m talking about organizing, because I think it’s one that resonates with a lot of people — especially adults who have ADHD.
As an organizer, I frequently work with clients who have ADHD or other health conditions that make it especially overwhelming to tackle their spaces. I often hear things like:
“I’ve never been able to create an organizing system and actually stick to it for more than a few days.”
“I just have no idea where to start, and that makes me feel bad, so I keep putting it off.”
“I feel a lot of shame and embarrassment around the fact that I just cannot seem to keep my areas clean.”
“People have called me ‘lazy’ for leaving things all over the place, but I’m really using so much energy trying to keep things organized.”
Even people who don’t have an ADHD diagnosis may find that some of the above statements feel familiar. We all get overwhelmed and it can show in our spaces, which can lead us down a shame spiral. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that shame can really keep you from making progress. A lot of the work I do with my clients is letting go of that shame so we can find a path forward to reduce the overwhelm. If all you’re doing is beating yourself up for not being “better” or “more normal,” you won’t have the bandwidth to find solutions that actually work for you. You just won’t.
Although I have experience working with clients who have ADHD, I wanted to learn more from an expert in this field. I reached out to Alexis Haselberger, a time management and productivity coach who also has ADHD. She graciously agreed to do a Q&A about the challenges of organizing and some helpful tips around it. I’ll definitely be incorporating some of her tips with my clients, and even in my own home!
Q: What are some of the unique challenges that adults with ADHD might face when it comes to organizing and cleaning their space?
A: Folks with ADHD are often motivated by interest, urgency, challenge and novelty. And I’d argue that cleaning and tidying doesn’t really fall into these categories. Unless someone is coming over for dinner, in which case someone with ADHD can speed clean from the urgency.
There’s also the “out of sight, out of mind” aspect. If it’s in a closet or drawer, we often just forget it’s there, and clutter can build. And there can also be an element of time blindness and time optimism, which is where you might underestimate how long it will take and then get discouraged if it takes longer. For some of us, we also struggle with working memory issues, so we’ll get started, then get distracted and forget what we were doing.
Lastly, there are often circumstances where the organizing job feels too big, overwhelming, and amorphous, and it’s unclear how to even start.
Q: What are a few effective ways to address those challenges?
A: Break cleaning and organizing into small bites. So instead of telling yourself you’ll “clean the kitchen,” it becomes:
Collect all the dirty dishes and put them in the sink.
Fill the dishwasher
Wipe down the counters
Sweep or mop the floor
This is much less overwhelming, and if you get interrupted mid-task it’s easier to know where to return to.
Have less stuff. Many years ago, when my kids were small, I started a decluttering process to get rid of five things a day (no matter how small or large). It took me nine months until I could no longer find five things a day to get rid of. And by that time, everything had a home so it was easier to know exactly where things were supposed to go when they were left out.
Keep a basket in each room for “things that don’t belong.” When you see a thing in a room that doesn’t belong, instead of worrying about putting it away right then and there (which may interrupt you and send you down a rabbit hole) add it to the basket. When the basket is full, then carry it around the house putting the stuff away until it’s empty.
Find alternative methods that are functional. For instance, if folding clothes is a barrier, how about having drawers or baskets for things like underwear and t-shirts that you don’t need to worry about wrinkling?
Think about where it’s important for it to be clean and tidy in your home. For me, I like to keep the public spaces tidy, but my bedroom often is a mess with clothes all over the floor. They get picked up when I do the laundry, but otherwise, this doesn’t really bother me. Pick your battles with yourself!
Q: In my experience, there can be a lot of shame that comes up for people who find it challenging to organize or clean their space. What would you say to a client who was feeling shame around this?
A: Being a bit messy isn’t a moral failing. And you can only move forward. Beating ourselves up only serves to prevent us from taking action. If you can, instead, congratulate yourself for even the smallest of steps in the right direction, like putting a glass in the dishwasher instead of leaving it on the counter. Your brain is going to want to keep doing the thing. We thrive with positive reinforcement. Shame doesn’t help us with the goal.
A great resource for destigmatizing the issue, with practical tips, is KC Davis’ book “How to Keep House While Drowning”.
Which methods help you stay organized even when you’re feeling overwhelmed? Drop me a note at thesocialbrunchclub@gmail.com and let me know.
Organizing tip of the week:
We’ve got so many amazing organizing tips from Alexis above! But here’s another one from me: Don’t be afraid to seek help. If a professional housekeeper or organizer is in your budget, there’s no shame in hiring someone to make your space work for you. (Hi, here’s my services page if you need it!).
If hiring help is not in your budget, then call up a non-judgmental friend or family member and ask if they’ll come hang out and chat with you while you declutter. I always find that having someone around makes me feel more motivated. And if they’re a really good friend, they might even pitch in and help you fold laundry or sort items for donation.
One thing I love:
I don’t have ADHD, but I still find Alexis’ tip about the “things that don’t belong” baskets to be incredibly helpful. I love these ones from The Container Store because they’re pretty enough to have in every room.
Journal prompt of the week:
How does your home make you feel? What do you like about your space, and what would you like to change?
Check this place out:
I always find it easier to organize if I’ve had a little caffeine! When I’m on the East Coast, I love hitting up Bean & Bean, a mother-and-daughter-owned coffee business. They have locations in NYC and NJ and always have a fun seasonal option on the menu, like a lavender latte or pumpkin spice tiramisu.
This newsletter was written and edited by Shaniece Jones and Jamie Ballard. If you have any feedback, talk to us at thesocialbrunchclub@gmail.com.